Secret
by Texanlady
Summary: Response to Skye's weekly challenge: Secret. Inuyasha sneaks off to see Kikyo every night...but Kagome has a secret of her own.
1. Chapter 1

"Choices and Consequences" still being updated over at Dokuga.

Secret

Everyone has secrets. Some people steal. Some people kill. Some people cheat. Kagome…her secret was a walking, talking, six foot six, male. Kami help her, but he was her dirty little secret and she couldn't let him go.

Staring discreetly up at the tree that Inuyasha sat perched on Kagome thought, '_How could I let it get this far? How did I get into this mess in the first place? Inuyasha's going to be so angry when he finds out. What will Miroku and Sango say? My family?....and where the hell is she? Damn it she's late!_'

After forcing herself to calm down and reminding herself that she wasn't the only one keeping secrets Kagome once again began thinking about how she came to be in the position she was. '_I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I didn't mean to let it get this far….I was just curious…..we both were….things happened…and now they keep happening._'

When Shippo whimpered in his sleep she turned her attention to him and patted his back gently for a moment before he calmed down. When he was once more sleeping peacefully she sighed regretfully and thought, '_It doesn't matter how it all started. The fact remains it's a reality…and I don't know if I want it to change….and I know he doesn't. Last time he told me not to come unless I've decided. He made his intentions known and told me that everything else was up to me. It's my decision where things go from here._'

Rolling over gently Kagome starred off into the distance as she considered her options. '_I could go back to the way things were. Separate. Apart. Platonic. Distant….but do I want to do that? Do I want to give up what is for what I'm not even sure I want anymore? Did I ever really want that life? I was 15 when I fell down the well…that was almost 5 years ago and since then Inuyasha really hasn't changed…but I have. I was a silly school girl when we first met. A foolish girl with foolish notions of how the world worked. Everything was black and white to me. Right or wrong,…but I've changed since then. I've grown up…Inuyasha hasn't….even __**he**__ has changed. Granted not very much, but there has been change. I've seen it. I've __**felt**__ it….and truthfully we've changed together. Inuyasha and I have gone through so much together but he always keeps that part of himself, that piece of himself from the past, away from me. Every time we've ever had the chance to become more she's shown up and Inuyasha would leave me behind….__**he**__ has kept nothing from me._'

Closing her eyes Kagome remembered every moment she'd spent with him. She remembered the heated touches, the intimate moments they'd shared. And she remembered seeing him kill without mercy. She'd seen exactly how cruel and vicious he could be in battle. He hid nothing from her and made no apologies for who or what he was. Inuyasha wasn't like that. Inuyasha not only kept himself distant from her, but he refused to allow her close when he felt like his beast was gaining control. Inuyasha didn't trust himself and as a result he didn't trust anyone else either.

'_And I can't do that. I can't live without trust….I want to know that the one that stands beside me trusts me as much as I trust them….Inuyasha doesn't do that. He doesn't even trust me to stand beside him. He's always throwing himself in front of me…he doesn't trust me to take care of myself or to watch his back….even though I've been training and my control over my miko powers have surpassed hers. Still…he doesn't believe in me. But __**he**__ trusts me. He's always trusted me to stand at his side._'

Letting regret fill her for her hanyou friend that so isolated himself Kagome thought, '_I wish he could let his barriers down…if not to me…than to someone. I know he doesn't even trust her…of course I wouldn't either. With as many times as she's betrayed us to Naraku over the years it's no wonder he keeps some distance between them as well…I know he's led a hard life, but I…I can't keep waiting for him._'

Feeling a pang of longing shoot through her body as _his_ call reached her she thought, '_I didn't keep waiting for him….I keep denying…I keep pretending that this is just a fling…something to do while Inuyasha makes his choice…but it stopped being that a long time ago….if that's ever what it was. I…Kami I didn't mean for this to happen…I really didn't._'

Letting her gaze wander inconspicuously up to the hanyou who was scanning the trees in the night she let her guilt consume her. '_I made him promises…I promised to never leave him…to never betray him. All his life he's been alone…been betrayed by everyone he's ever trusted…how can I do that to him? I couldn't bear for him to look at me with betrayal in his eyes…but…but the fact remains my feelings have changed. As much as I hate to admit it I just couldn't wait for him any longer….I…I moved past him…I found someone else._'

Finally catching sight of the wraithlike creatures that signaled the impending departure of her hanyou companion Kagome waited with baited breath as he scanned the campsite to make sure the rest of their pack was sleeping. Of course she had long since learned to feign sleep to avoid detection. Once Inuyasha was sure that no one would notice his absence he took off through the trees.

'_Secrets…we all have them…he goes to her every night…and I go to him. The difference is Inuyasha believes that once she passes on, as she must, I'll still be here waiting. He doesn't realize that I have secrets of my own._'

Feeling _his_ call again Kagome closed her eyes tightly. '_He's called me every night for a week and I haven't answered. I haven't had an answer for him. He said not to come until I'd decided…he said he was tired of things being the way they were…and frankly I'm tired too. This back and forth is killing me…it's time to make a choice._'

Rolling onto her back and looking up at the star lit sky she thought, '_I didn't mean for it to happen….I never meant to fall in love with him. At first it was just about not feeling lonely anymore…then…then I'm not sure what it was about…but now? Now it's about….feelings. I…have feelings for him….and I know he has strong feelings for me. He wouldn't have told me to choose if he didn't. He wouldn't have offered me a place at his side. I have to choose._'

Closing her eyes Kagome relived every moment they had shared. The nights spent simply talking. She'd told him things of the future. He'd told her things of his past. Slowly, steadily, hesitantly a friendship had formed. Then one night changed everything. One night _she_ had tried to kill her and Inuyasha had refused to believe it. Inuyasha had yelled at her and told her she was lying because she was jealous of her incarnation…then he'd run…to _her_….believing the lies she'd spun about what happened. Believing it had been an accident. Determined not to face the truth.

That night her lord had come as he usually did. He'd sat beside her at the stream she'd come to meet him at and let the silence stretch. He made no move to comfort her and frankly she'd been grateful for it. She didn't know how he knew what had happened, but she knew he knew. They'd sat in silence all night, and when the sun began to rise they both knew she had to return to camp before Inuyasha discovered her missing. He'd stood, held his hand out to her and helped her to her feet, but he didn't relinquish his hold on her hand. No. Instead he'd pulled her into his chest, placed a gentle kiss on her lips and whispered, "Why do you wait for him when you could find happiness with another?"

He'd walked away after that, but they both knew that something had changed. _They_ changed, and they had kept changing together. '_And now? Now there is no going back,_' Kagome decided as she stood slowly from her sleeping bag without waking Shippo. Looking across the camp site she saw Miroku and Sango deep in sleep. Once again Kilala was the only one that noticed her departure, just as she had Inuyasha's, but the miko knew the fire cat wouldn't be spilling any secrets.

Moving stealthily Kagome made her way through the forest as she followed his call. After about a half hour of walking she broke through the tree line and spotted him. He was lounging against a large oak and starring at her with calculating eyes. She stood her ground and regarded him just as coolly.

"Have you chosen?"

Taking a deep breath Kagome smiled a true smile at the Western Lord and replied, "Yes Sesshoumaru…I've chosen. No more secrets. I will be your mate."


	2. Chapter 2

I wasn't going to add any more but then I thought it might be nice to have Sesshoumaru's point of view. Wrote this a little different, but I like it.

Secret

He had many secrets. Some were his own. Some belonged to others. Some had been past down in his family for generations. But she…_she_ was the greatest of them all. She was a secret so great she could either make him or break him. '_I do not know how I let it come to this. I do not understand how she became more than a simple curiosity._'

He could remember the moment he decided to learn more about the little miko from the future. She had always been a point of interest for him since she first survived his poison attack in his father's tomb. He knew then that there was more to the tiny onna that followed his brother than met the eye, but he could never imagine how much more. It was only after the battle with Sou'unga that he had decided it would be beneficial to learn more about the girl…_Kagome_.

It had begun simple enough. He had waited for his fool of a brother to sneak off in the night to visit the dead one; believing no one knew of his disappearance when all the while the live miko waited for his return back at camp with an increasingly breaking heart.

That first night he'd appeared to her she had been slightly afraid. Of course not truly afraid. His little miko feared little after all. That first encounter had been brief. He'd appeared in the trees soon after his brother had left. He was always careful to mask his scent when checking on his brother's pack so as to avoid detection, but that night he had flared his aura just enough to alert the girl to his presence, and as expected she had rose to see what he wanted. He'd led her far enough into the forest to avoid being heard and simply asked her questions. Surprisingly she answered them all…truthfully.

Yes, she was from the future. Yes, she had been born with the Shikon Jewel inside her body. Yes, she was in love with his brother. Yes, she intended to give the jewel to Inuyasha if he asked for it once they completed it. Yes, she was aware Inuyasha left each night to visit the dead miko. Yes, she knew that Kikyo was not long for this world and that the dead priestess sought to evade death by stealing back the remaining portion of her soul. Yes, she knew Inuyasha would not accept this fact. Yes, she intended to wait for Inuyasha no matter how long it took.

He had been shocked at her honesty, and even more astounded by her unwavering loyalty to his brother. By the time he'd left her that night he'd had more questions than answers. The miko from the future was a living enigma and he swore to figure her out. So he had visited her again…and again, and again and again. He asked many questions and she always answered as truthfully as she could. She never lied, but sometimes she evaded…for awhile. There was no answer she did not eventually give to him. Sometimes it took him awhile, but eventually she divulged anything he sought to know. He had found her honesty refreshing. He found _her_ refreshing. She was so different from anyone he'd ever met.

'_I never saw it coming. I didn't have time to prepare myself. She does nothing because she has to…she does it because she __**wants**__ to. She wants to help Inuyasha…she wants to help the slayer, the monk, the kit, the wolf prince, and anyone else in need. She wants….to __**love**__. That's all she wants and I just didn't understand that. I still don't, but I admire that fact about her._'

He had spent months meeting with her in secret each night after his brother abandoned her. Eventually she asked a question….and surprisingly he answered. Of course that led her to asking more questions, and even more surprisingly he gave her more answers. All true. He refused to lie to her. She had only ever given him the truth and as such he would do the same. Soon he found himself volunteering information. He told her things he'd never told anyone. Not because he had to or because she asked to know, but because he _wanted_ to. He wanted her to know him. _Him_. Somewhere along the line her opinion had begun to matter to him and he wanted to see how she would view his conquests. He wanted to know how she viewed _him_.

So he gave her all of himself. He gave her the words she asked for, but more importantly he gave her actions. He never held himself back. He refused to be less than what he was around her. She had to take all of him, or none at all. He killed without remorse before her very eyes when human bandits attempted to accost them one night. He'd heard them approaching and smelt their disgusting lust for the onna at his side, but had not attempted to evade them. He was a youkai lord, he ran from no one. He had not even taken his eyes off of her when he released his poison whip to divest them of their heads before they could even raise their weapons to attack. He hadn't batted an eye…merely sat and waited to see her response.

She had gasped in surprise. She'd looked over his shoulder at the headless corpses as they fell from the darkness the trees had provided them cover in. She'd taken in their torn, bloody clothes stained with the blood of the innocents they'd slaughtered without thought, just as he had them. Then she'd turned her eyes on him and said, "Want to find a better spot?"

He'd fallen in love with her then and there. She accepted him for what he was. Without reservation. She did not hold him accountable to her standards of what was right or wrong. She recognized he was and would always be a predator. He would attack or defend as he saw necessary and she understood that. She understood _him_. He made the decision then that if there was a possibility to make her his he would.

So he'd waited. He'd waited and he'd watched and then finally one day the opportunity presented itself for him to make his intentions known. The dead one tried once more to claim Kagome's life, and his brother refused to acknowledge that fact. To make matters worse his fool of a brother had run off to the clay miko and listened to her lies instead of _hearing_ the truth of the live one. That very night he let her know what he could offer her. He'd held himself in check, but he'd opened the door for her.

She didn't show the next night, or the one after, but he'd expected that. He knew she would need a few days to come to terms with what he was offering. But she'd come back. She'd been hesitant…reminding him so much of a doe picking up the scent of danger, but she _had_ come back. It had taken him awhile, and he knew she still had unresolved feelings for his brother, but he didn't let that deter him. It started out with the simple gesture of holding hands. From there she'd allowed brief kisses that turned into tentative touches, and eventually she had allowed him more. So much more.

He never breached her maiden barrier; telling her that he would not dishonor her, but she had let him know her in other intimate ways….and she had known him. He'd made it apparent from the start that his body was hers to do with as she pleased, but she had been too shy to make the first move. He'd always had to take her hands and place them upon himself to get her started. However, once she began she would not stop until she knew all of him. And oh how he luxuriated in the feel of her fingers mapping his skin. Learning the secrets of his flesh just as he did hers.

'_But it was not enough…it will never be enough. I could spend every day by her side and still never have enough of her presence._' So he'd told her that the secret could not continue. He'd told her that they'd past the point of return. He'd told her he wanted _more_.

He knew he had only two alternatives. Walk away from her for good…or mate her. He had thought briefly of leaving her behind…and almost immediately his heart skipped a beat and his breath left him. He'd known then that there was no way he would ever be able to walk away from her. The mere idea of it left him physically weak. If they were to be no more she would have to do the walking away. He knew that mating her was a terrible idea. She was a human. A miko. By definition alone they should be enemies. The other lords would rebel and any offspring they had would not only never know true safety, but would be shunned by many, and probably for the majority of their lives. Every day of their existence would be a battle….but he didn't care.

So he'd told her. He'd told her flat out. "I desire you as my mate. I care not for what others think, nor do I care of the repercussions. I want to live the rest of my life with you by my side. Do not come to me again in secret. If you come…come for good. I will hide no more." And with that he'd watched her walk away.

That had been a week ago. He'd sent out the call of his aura every night to summon her, but she did not answer. He knew she would need time, just as she'd needed it before, but as more nights passed he began to worry. '_What if she does not come? What if she chooses….him? Could I stand for that? Can I let her go? Can I let her go to him? He who hurts her? He who abandons her for a traitorous dead woman? He who will never see her for who she really is? Can I let her leave me for him?_' He wasn't sure.

He had promised himself that he would give her two weeks. If she did not come to him by then he would seek her out and demand an answer. He knew that if she didn't come in that time he should probably take that as a rejection in its own right, but his feelings were so great….his love for her so strong that he had to hear the words from her own mouth.

And so he sat here beneath a tree, starring up at the moonlight as he beckoned her to him once more. As he had every night for a week. He waited…and he hoped. '_How pathetic….I am nearly 800 years old and I sit alone night after night longing for one tiny onna. Father you must be laughing at me._'

Suddenly he stilled. His demonic hearing caught the sound of something moving towards him. Lifting his head to take a delicate sniff he felt his entire body come alive as her delicious scent reached him. '_I told her not to come if she did not intend to stay. And…she's coming._' He remained seated as he had to spare his honor somewhat by not appearing too eager, but it took all of his control not to stand and go to her. To take her in his arms and hold onto her forever.

He watched with an intense look in his gaze as she finally came stumbling through the trees. '_Stealth has never been her strong suite,_' he thought with amusement. Meeting her blue eyes with his amber he asked simply, "Have you chosen?"

She was silent for a moment and he waited with baited breath, but when she smiled that beautiful smile at him he felt his heart expand and total joy overtake him. Her next words sealed their fate.

"Yes Sesshoumaru…I've chosen. No more secrets. I will be your mate."

Standing he made his way to stand in front of her with slow, measured steps. When they were but a breath away from each other he reached out to take hold of her chin and tilt her head up for a gentle kiss. Pulling back he said, "You were never any good at keeping secrets anyways my mate."


End file.
